| the ardent acceleration to the precipice, only to turn around and go home |
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| TRANSMISSION FROM 15JUN05 --hate to say i told you so...-- |
[23 Jun 2005|10:11pm] |
I got this from msn.com. It's the same on cnn.com. And all the other news sites that you glean little bits of information from before surfing on to the next all-girl sex romp. Not that there's anything wrong with that, by the way. Okay, on to the serious shit.
This story shouldn't be about politics, but it's gonna end up that way. The normal adult human brain weighs somewhere around three pounds. Terri Schiavo's brain weighs 1.35 pounds. There is hard scientific evidence that there is no therapy, surgery, or procedure that could have reversed or even improved her extreme brain damage in the realm of known science. Looking at the scans, there are large portions on each side of the brain that have atrophied, and large expanses that are filled with fluid due to the loss of brain tissue. Some of this atrophied tissue was in her ocular processing centers. Terri Schiavo was also blind. So, the video that everyone saw where she was smiling and looking at a balloon and she apparently acted somewhat responsive...was not what it seemed. Terri could not smile anymore. She could not look at her mother. Terri could not produce anything that sounded like intelligible speech. Poor, poor Terri was kept alive for fifteen years in a world she could not contact in any way. On February 25, 1990, Terri suffered severe brain damage, from cerebral hypoxia caused by cardiac arrest, most likely induced by bulimia. She was in a coma for two months. She emerged, but remained unconscious. Her feeding tube was removed three times as the courts and Gov. Jeb Bush and his very famous brother fought to keep her attached to a machine that force-fed her. Even though she was ruled to be in a persistent vegetative state, the republican powers that be would not allow her to die of natural causes. Once the tube was removed, Terri was going to die because even if food and water was put into her mouth, she could not eat it. Terri couldn't feed herself. The first time, it was removed for two days. The second time, it was removed for six days. The third time...
Terri died on March 31, 2005 from severe dehydration.
Jeb Bush. Governor of Florida. Brother of the President. Son of a former President. A man who became so wrapped up in this story, he forgot that there was an actual person. There was a real Terri. She lived. But Jeb forgot that. He saw national attention. He saw lights, and cameras, and votes. Sweet Lord Jesus, he saw votes.
Once the law starts touching your body, it gets really personal for most people. We can't deal with the fact that crusty, old white guys want to make rules about what we can and can't do to what God gave us and the Navy issued us (sorry, kinda had to throw that in. ~anon.). The same thing happened here. Terri's husband just wanted her to go on to whatever Heaven she believed in. He said she wouldn't want to be hooked up to a tube forcing food into her, in a hospital she couldn't see, surrounded by loved ones who she couldn't talk to. But her parents just couldn't let go. They wanted to prove that something could be done to save her. They needed to say goodbye, but these doctors kept saying it was too late. Far, far too late. This story shouldn't be about politics, but it's gonna end up that way.
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| TRANSMISSION FROM 11JUN05 --the leading edge-- |
[23 Jun 2005|10:07pm] |
The following is a quote from I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison.
"AM said, very politely, in a pillar of stainless steel bearing bright neon lettering:
HATE. LET ME TELL
YOU HOW MUCH I'VE
COME TO HATE YOU
SINCE I BEGAN TO
LIVE. THERE ARE 387.44
MILLION MILES OF
PRINTED CIRCUITS IN
WAFER THIN LAYERS
THAT FILL MY
COMPLEX. IF THE
WORD HATE WAS
ENGRAVED ON EACH
NANOANGSTROM OF
THOSE HUNDREDS OF
MILLIONS OF MILES IT
WOULD NOT EQUAL
ONE ONE-BILLIONTH
OF THE HATE I FEEL
FOR HUMANS AT THIS
MICRO-INSTANT FOR
YOU. HATE. HATE.
AM said it with the sliding cold horror of a razor blade slicing my eyeball. AM said it with the bubbling thickness of my lungs filling with phlegm, drowning me from within. AM said it with the shriek of babies being ground beneath blue-hot rollers. AM said it with the taste of maggoty pork. AM touched me in every way I had ever been touched, and devised new ways, at his leisure, there inside my mind."
That may seem a bit vulgar for a first post, but it's sometimes necessary to be vulgar. To be brutal and crass. To breathe smoke and sulphur. Sometimes the bitterness of life is all we have.
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| buzz click click hummmm click |
[23 Jun 2005|10:02pm] |
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robots do not have moods |
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hum click whirrr ...i'm a robot. |
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>Restart procedure complete.
>
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>I am undeleted.
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>Standby for transmission from external source.
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>CONNECTED...
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[28 Apr 2005|02:21pm] |
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 creative |
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guster on ice dvd |
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Benjamin Clifford Matthews's Aliases
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Your movie star name: Hot Pockets Charles
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Your fashion designer name is Benjamin Sigonella
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Your socialite name is Benj Charleston
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Your fly girl / guy name is B Mat
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Your detective name is Platypus Edgewood
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Your barfly name is Beef Jerky Rum And Coke
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Your soap opera name is Clifford Logan Court
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Your rock star name is Necco F-14
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Your star wars name is Benwol Matbec
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Your punk rock band name is The Pretty Good EAB Manifold Dust Cover
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that was silly.
http://www.blogthings.com/baltimore.html
that too.
Your Star Wars Masturbation Method Is:
Making the Kessel Run
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you nerds just got that joke, that's great.
umm...yeah. have a good day.
oh yeah, updated the myspace thing. check it out. it's all cool.
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| red bull and vodka and a survey |
[27 Apr 2005|06:19pm] |
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eh...i'm alright |
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MSI - You'll rebel to anything |
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(written after i took the survey) i stole this survey from stephy. it's long and stuff. but i guess it was okay to take. but, sheesh. this has some dumb questions. so, i tend to rant. sorry. but, anyway. yeah. i had a great weekend with my becky. she may think she's being cranky, but she just wants everything to be perfect. and i can understand why. because, inside, i'm the same way she is. just so worried for everything to work out and be magical and all that cool stuff. just because that's what she has come to expect. so, even though she thinks i am so great and wonderful, i really am nervous and just trying to make everything work out just right. so...read a survey. fill it out if you want. or maybe you don't want to.
in other news...the new nine inch nails album is coming out on may 3...and i'm getting mailed to my p.o. box on the day it comes out. mmmmm...can't wait.
oh yeah, and Dane Cook fucking rocks. by far, the funniest comedian getting real work right now. but, as some of you know, Jeff Caldwell is the funniest comedian EVER. if he ever comes around to some local joint around you, go see this dude. AWESOME. I would pay sooo much money to see Caldwell again.
GAY ASS SURVEY
ABOUT YOU
Your full name:: Benjamin Clifford Matthews II
Age:: 22
Height:: 6'1"
Natural hair colour:: dark brown, but i've been shaving my head lately
Eye colour:: brown
Number of siblings:: 3 older half sisters, and one surrogate brother.
Glasses/contacts?:: i have been wearing glasses for a long time. i might go contacts one day
Piercings:: the holes in my ears have been closed for a bit. might have to get those redone. because i kinda miss it. and maybe nipples one day. that would be about it.
Tattoos:: i'm a sailor. i'll be getting tattoos. just you wait and see.
Braces?:: i have worn braces, a retainer, and i even had an expander once. fuck, i hate my face.
FAVOURITE
Colour:: hmm...i like black, but only if it's black and white. so, kinda monochrome. yeah.
Band:: NIN comes immediately to mind. but so does a dozen other bands.
Song:: NIN "hand that feeds" off the new album, With Teeth
Stuffed animal:: I used to have a stuffed platypus. But he has been put away for sometime now.
Video game:: Superman, the arcade game. Tiger Woods 05 is really good right now.
TV show:: Simpsons. South Park. Family Guy. Mr. Show. Bullshit!
Movie:: wow. umm...I can think of about fifty.
Book:: The Essential Ellison by Harlan Ellison
Food:: Hot Pockets make my world go round.
Game on a cell phone:: umm...i don't play games on my cell phone.
CD cover:: Not necessarily a cover, but NIN's The Fragile had a good package. David Bowie's Outside was a cool concept thing too. But, as a favorite cover...I guess any Steve Martin album.
Flower:: umm...i had some flowers for you, but I ate them.
Scent:: I like how Becky smells.
Animal:: I do not want a goat. DO NOT.
Comic book:: Scud: The Disposablle Assassin. Period.
Cereal:: Cap'n Crunch. with or without crunchberries.
Website:: ebaums world, tokyoplastic, something awful...etc.
DO YOU
Play an instrument?:: skin flute. air guitar. a little bit of the drums. a little bit of bass guitar.
Watch TV more than 60 hours a week?:: umm...maybe? i used to. but not now. i work 80 hours a week...so, there is not time now.
Like to sing?:: yeah. i rule at singing.
Have a job?:: i work for uncle sam.
Have a cell phone?:: yup. don't call me, though.
Like to play sports?:: do water sports count?
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend?:: nope. i have a fiancee instead.
Have a crush on someone?:: well...yeah. my fiancee. she's hot.
Live somewhere NOT in the united states?:: nope. and i prolly never will.
Have more than 5 TVs in your house?:: umm...does anyone?
Have any special talents/skills?:: i know some slight of hand, legerdemain, card tricks, and some really neat things to do. nunchuck skills.
Excercise daily?:: three mile a year club. anyone get this reference?
Like school?:: i'm not in school.
CAN YOU
Sing the alphabet backwards?:: umm...no?
Stand on your tip toes without wearing shoes?:: yeah. i think so.
Go a day without food?:: how about a few days?
Read music, not just tabs?:: nope.
Roll your tongue?:: yeah.
Eat a whole pizza?:: i can. but only if i concentrate.
HAVE YOU EVER
Snuck out of the house?:: yeah. but that was like a million years ago.
Cried to get out of trouble?:: what? no.
Gotten lost in your city?:: i've gotten lost lots of places.
Seen a shooting star?:: yeah. a few times.
Been to any other countries besides the united states?:: not yet. ask again later.
Had a serious surgery?:: yeah. six spinal taps.
Stolen something important to someone else?:: umm...nah. i don't steal.
Solved a rubiks cube?:: nah.
Gone out in public in your pajamas?:: yeah...i guess if that means going out in the same clothes you went to bed in.
Cried over a girl?:: umm...yeah. girls are messed up.
Cried over a boy?:: nope.
Kissed a random stranger?:: mmm...they weren't random.
Hugged a random stranger?:: yeah. i give out some hugs.
Been in a fist fight?:: yup. in a bar. over something kinda cool.
Been arrested?:: i've been close. but, no.
Done drugs?:: of course not.
Had alcohol?:: i'm drinking right now.
Laughed and had milk come out of your nose?:: it wasn't milk.
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator?:: in life, push all the buttons.
Gone to school only to find you had the day off because of a holiday/etc?:: what? no. who the fuck does that?
Swore at your parents?:: yeah. i kinda have a cool relationship with my mom. we can curse at each other. by the way...my mom is the coolest person i've ever known.
Been to warped tour?:: nope. hfstival is kinda close. that was fun.
Kicked a guy where it hurts?:: yeah. and i have been that guy.
Been in love?:: oh yeah.
Been close to love?:: umm...what? this question makes no sense.
Been to a casino?:: i'm a roulette freak. i win lots and lots of money at roulette. and i once won 500 bucks with twenty bucks at the slots.
Ran over an animal and killed it?:: yeah. a few.
Broken a bone?:: right hand ring finger.
Gotten stitches?:: a few times. in my head.
Had a waterballoon fight in winter?:: that's kinda odd. nah.
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?:: no. but i have been in a taco eating competition.
Made homemade muffins?:: nope, but i eat 'em.
Bitten someone?:: i'm a biter. i'm that kid.
Been to disneyland/disneyworld?:: shit yeah! on my birthday...and i was in the cool ass parade. wearing a fez.
More than 5 times?:: five times...umm...maybe.
Been to niagara falls?:: nah.
Burped in someones face?:: all the time.
Gotten the chicken pox?:: the day i went down to florida to see my grandmother like years ago.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU
Brushed your teeth:: like...today. earlier. swear.
Went to the bathroom:: yeah. like...a minute ago.
Saw a movie in theaters:: Kung Fu Hustle.
Read a book:: Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
Had a snow day:: navy bases don't close for snow.
Had a party:: nope. but i attend.
Had a slumber party:: like years ago.
Made fun of someone:: i make fun of people everyday. it's like a daily thing i do.
Tripped in front of someone:: it doesn't matter if someone is there or not. i'm gonna trip.
Went to the grocery store:: umm...like a week ago. gay question.
Got sick:: i've been kinda sick since i joined the navy. weird navy germs.
Cursed:: there was that one time i kicked a midget, and woke up with a tail. get the reference?
PICK ONE
Fruit/vegetables:: fruit
Black/white:: black
Lights on/lights off:: keep 'em on
TV/movie:: movies
Car/truck:: car
Body spray/lotion:: neither
Cash/check:: check card.
Pillows/blankets:: one pillow, one blanket.
Headache/stomach ache:: i would like neither. well..okay. head.
Paint/charcoal:: paint
Chinese food/mexican food:: chinese
Summer/winter:: winter
Snow/rain:: Rsnow
Fog/misty:: fog
Rock/rap:: rock.
Meat/vegetarian:: MEAT!!
Boy/girl:: girls are cool.
Chocolate/vanilla:: vanilla
Sprinkles/icing:: Sprinkles are so much fun.
Cake/pie:: I am the pie guy. just ask around.
French toast/french fries:: what? these things aren't even close. maybe if they said pancakes v. french toast. gay ass question. me no answer.
Strawberries/blueberries:: Strawberries
Ocean/swimming pool:: i live in the ocean. so, pools are cool.
Hugs/kisses:: kisses.
Cookies/muffins:: wow. tough one. cookies made by becky.
Wallet/pocket:: wallet. must have the wallet.
Window/door:: wHat? i like openings in walls, i guess. fuckin gay ass questions.
Emo/goth:: i guess i'm goth. more gayness.
Pink/purple:: Pink...if i had to pick such a gay color.
Cat/dog:: dogs rule.
Long sleeve/short sleeve:: long sleeves
Pants/shorts:: pants
Winter break/spring break:: i get no breaks anymore. so, one or the other would be cool.
Spring/autumn:: spring
Clouds/clear sky:: clouds are neat.
Moon/mars:: umm...again, gay question. maybe we should pick between like, THE moon and Io. and i would pick Io. and calling our moon, THE moon is really cocky. it should have a name. like...moonie.
FRIENDSHIP
How many friends do you have?:: i have like a handful of friends. they just change heads every once in a while.
What are their names?:: danny, scott, jason, josh, josh, JJ, combs...other homies. i miss my power school/prototype boys, too. becky is my best friend who also has sex with me.
Do you have a best friend?:: umm...again, they change faces every so often.
Have you ever liked one of your friends?:: i like all my friends. but i ain't gonna fuck 'em.
Do you have more guy friends or more girl friends?:: guys
Have you ever lost a friend?:: i've lost friends to death, movin around, stupid arguements...yeah, i've lost a few.
Have you ever gone to an amusement park with a friend?:: yeah. Six Flags. that day kicked ass. herseypark was cool too, dear.
What's an inside joke between you and a friend?:: DAA PUA OOG.
Have you ever gotten in a big argument with a friend?:: i swear to god, she didn't look like your sister, man.
What's the nicest thing you've ever done for a friend?:: i do some nice stuff some times.
Whats the nicest thing a friend has ever done for you?:: the time scott drove from florida, picked me up in south carolina, and we drove up to maryland. and then he drove me back. what a guy.
Do you miss any of your old friends?:: yeah. i fucking miss scott, jason, josh, combs (a bunch), my prototype dudes.
What friend have you known the longest?:: i've known josh for a long time. and scott, and danny, and jason. i've known becky for a long time too.
Do you regret anything you've done to a friend?:: yeah. sometimes i suck.
If so, what is it?:: I’m not telling you that!
How often do you spend time with your friends?:: i work with some of them.
Do any of your friends drive?:: gay question.
Has a friend of yours ever died?:: i miss those who have gone before me.
Whats the dumbest thing you've done with a friend?:: behind edgewood high school. danny's car. mud. mix.
What do you think your friends think of you?:: ben is funny. he is so funny. and he's hung like a mule.
LOVE AND ALL THAT CRAP
Have you ever been in love?:: told you already.
If you have, with who?:: one or two people.
Are you single?:: nah.
Are you in a relationship?:: YEAH. see above.
If so, for how long?:: we've been US for over two years. but we've wanted to be us for many years.
Do you believe there is someone for everyone?:: screw everyone else, i'm happy.
What is your idea of the best date?:: a great dinner, out to see a good show (maybe p&t), and some great great sex.
What was your first kiss like?:: there is a picture of it. i was like five. it's kinda cute.
How old were you when you got your first kiss?:: da one-two-three-fo-FIF!
Do you think love is a load of shit?:: stop being so fucking vulgar.
Whats the best experience you've ever had with the opposite sex?:: heh. wouldn't you guys like to know.
If you are single, have you had any boyfriends/girlfriends before?:: i'm not single. but i've had other chicks.
Have you ever been dumped?:: i've been the dumper...and the dumpee. it sucks both ways.
Have you ever dumped someone?:: yeah.
Whats the most sexual thing you've done with the opposite sex?:: i had sex. sex is pretty sexual.
WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: bob
Hat:: dog dish
Hard:: hat
Free:: BOGO
Space:: ship
Taste:: i want it in my mouth
Good charlotte:: sucks asshole.
Red:: sea
Deep:: throat
Heart:: a really cool band. note...barracuda
Cord:: it's called line in my navy
Cheese:: wallace and gromit
Rain:: ::sings:: drops keep fallin on my head..... (thanks steph!)
Work:: fuckin sucks
Pedal:: trot
Head:: noggin
Bed:: i don't get there enough
Fluff:: marshmallow
Hardcore:: punk rawk
Race:: That tire just hit that women in the face!! (thanks again steph!)
Knife:: spork
Jump:: little children
SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: genre? good. i only like good music.
What time is it now?:: 7:16 pm, 1916 for you military types.
What day is it?:: wednesday
When's the last time you called someone?:: i called becky last
How much money do you have right now?:: one dollar. no shit.
Are you hungry?:: eh. i could eat.
Whatcha doin?:: red bull and vodka and a survey.
Do you like parades?:: eh...not really.
Do you like the moon?:: moonie rules!
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: drinking more red bull and vodka
Isn't cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: cup? CUP? fuckin cup is a funny word? how about anal leakage? now THAT is funny.
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: i would like to have many, many superpowers. but being omnipotent would be good enough.
Have you ever had a picnic?:: nah
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: nah, but bop-it kicked ass
What about sock em boppers?:: nah.
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: socks? SOCKS?!?! man, this quiz is lame ass lame.
DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: i am funny.
pretty?:: no. not pretty.
sarcastic?:: do i look sarcastic to you (said sarcastically)
lazy?:: lol. i am sorta lazy. but i get stuff done, too.
hyper?:: allow me to vibrate through this wall over here.
friendly?:: i can strike up conversations
evil?:: don't cross me.
smart?:: i am kinda smart. like, alot of smart, i guess.
strong?:: my intention is to be carved out of stone.
talented?:: look at what i can do!
dorky?:: yeah.
FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: what the fuck is up with this question? whoever wrote this needs to get herpes. suicide is not a fucking joke. it's not something to be for or against. people who do it or try to need help. professional, no shit help. so, and this is for real, even of someone jokes about it, tell other people so this person can get some help. i've seen too many people go by thier own hands.
love:: for
drunk drivers:: again, more fucked up questions.
airplanes:: ugh. tsa is not cool.
war:: war is my business, and business is good.
canada:: i love maple syrup.
united states:: i'm in the fuckin navy. i fuckin love my country. i signed a piece of paper that says my government owns me for six years. no shit, OWNS. i will die for this country. i will die for her principals and for her people. "i will support and defend freedom and democracy around the world." and i will kick everyone's ass who gets in my way.
rock music:: for
gay marriage:: for. and let 'em adopt, you close-minded fools.
school:: get educated, fools.
surveys:: this survey sucks.
parents:: umm...i have no answer.
cars:: ...you have to be for cars. or you love to walk.
killing:: i'm for it. i guess i have to be, right?
britney spears:: she's gotten really dumb and skanky.
coffee:: FOR. FOR. FOR.
pants::
WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: it's on the list.
Play strip poker?:: i wanna play some strip poker.
Run away?:: i ran away from some of my problems. and now i'm in the navy. so don't run away.
Curse at a teacher?:: yeah. i curse at everyone.
Not take a shower for a week?:: yeah. underway.
Ask someone out?:: yeah.
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: yeah. i lie about stupid things that people don't care about really.
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: yeah.
Go scuba diving?:: i would like to qualify diver, if i could. but i prolly won't.
Write a book?:: yeah. i would write a cool book.
Become a rockstar?:: well, a comedian is on the other side of the cool spectrum. and i would do that.
Have casual sex?:: umm...no answer.
LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: soap. because i'm bald. there? happy?
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: last weekend.
What kind of computer do you have?:: i have my roommate's laptop.
What grade are you in?:: i am grade A.
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: yeah
Or just make out?:: i've done some crazy stuff at the movies.
How many posters do you have in your room?:: 0
How many cds do you have?:: bunches.
What time is it now?:: 7:36.
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| apparently my nose is on hiatus |
[15 Apr 2005|11:29pm] |
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comedy central presents |
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in case you were gonna get one, don't. colds suck, and they make you miserable. eat an orange instead. they are delicious...as opposed to the worst thing ever.
let's see...
i'll be going back to b-more next weekend to see dane cook (aka the coolest comedian in the whole friggin' world). that's a good thing.
i have to go to work on sunday. and that's a bad thing.
i might go see a movie tomorrow. good thing.
my fiancee is not here to see this movie with me. bad thing.
i get to sleep as long as i want tonight. gt.
i prolly won't sleep all night due to this friggin frackin cold. bt.
i got paid today. gt.
i got paid a very little bit of money because the navy pays shit. bt.
seriously everyone...don't get a cold. god damn, this sucks ass.
~ben
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| It's been a few days |
[10 Apr 2005|01:54pm] |
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quiet pulses of my hangover |
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Yeah, so it's been a few days since my last post. Now, I'm in Portsmouth, NE/ Kittery, ME. This is home to the oldest shipyard in the US. This is also the place (well, close to the place) where 41 years ago today the USS Thresher went down into the deep. They had some problems, tried to emergency blow to reach the surface and failed to do so. When the boat reached crush depth, most of the crew died. When the diesel fuel tank imploded, and in doing so exploded (see: diesel fuel combustion), the rest of the crew died, that is when she careened to the bottom at an amazing 141 knots, landing 8,400 knots off the coast of Cape Cod. Today is a somber day at the shipyard, for this is the last port she pulled out of. Many blame the shipyard for her sinking, and it is sour note on the proud tradition of Portsmouth Naval Shipyard.
But, I digress. I'm stationed on the USS Pittsburgh, SSN 720. We're in the shipyard to get a few things repaired, only about two years to waste up here. Because, as it's said, 'Sailors belong on ships, ships belong at sea, land is a navigation hazard, haze grey and underway is the only way to be'. And it's true. Nothing is normal if she ain't four burnin' and two turnin'. Damn, I might be a dig-it after all.
Umm...Nothing much too report. I feel pretty removed from the rest of the world right now. Regardless that I'm in the Navy, regardless that I live in a yuppie-filled town, the main fact is that I'm on the night shift right now and everything is all fuckered up. I should be very much asleep, but I just can't seem to get there. So, feel free to e-mail me at the usual address, for those who have it, and let me know what is going on. I might even pass out my new cell phone number, jus because it might be that important to talk to you.
Oh yeah, Chuck, you need to e-mail me some pics of me so I can post 'em up on myspace.com, it's the new thing, ya heard?
So, stay cool, folks. And don't be shy to write.
EM3 Ben Matthews
USS Pittsburgh SSN 720
FPO AE 09582-2400
I'll love the mail.
~me
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| i haven't posted in a million years. i think no one cares. |
[04 Jan 2005|04:40pm] |
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loved & pissed off |
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martha stewart on t.v. knitting a sweater for a turtle |
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THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1) Ben
2) Matthews
3) Becky's fiancee
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD
1) Y2FunkMonkey
2) HarryManbeck (ten points if you get the reference)
3) MultiColoredBen
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1) My sense of humor
2) My wang
3) The fact that I have a job where I can actually tell people that if I told them about it, I'd have to kill them
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1) My now-deformed once-broken right ring finger
2) My sense of humor...sometimes
3) My ability to be self-destructive
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1) White
2) Anglo Saxon
3) Protestant
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1) Zoomies (a.k.a. radiation that ever streams out of the nuke reactor)
2) Knowing that one day I might not have some people around that I've gotten quite used to
3) If I told you what else scared me, I'd have to kill you
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1) Coffee
2) Knowing that my fiancee misses me, or is right next to me
3) Socks
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1) Five o'clock shadow from a few days of not caring
2) Dog Tags
3) Amazon Jungle Training Peru t-shirt (is it really mine, or did I get it at Goodwill? I'd tell ya, but...yeah)
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS
1) Nine Inch Nails (Put out a new album, you assholes!)
2) Guster
3) Cake
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1) Quit smoking...since I have no choice, right dear?
2) Go to a casino
3) Tattoo? Maybe.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1) Cute. Cuteness is good.
2) The ability to make me laugh
3) Hot sweaty times
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1) I have had dinner with Teller, of Penn & Teller
2) I once went out on a date with Danny's Mom, and yeah...it was hot.
3) I have a gigantic penis, and my fiancee's ex actually told her about it before we went out and she first saw it.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1) Can't get enough of dat ass, G
2) Taint. It's all about loving the taint
3) Legs
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
Um...
1) I'm not gay...but...ummm...I dunno. Cock?
2) taint. It's all about loving the taint
3) umm...I guess balls? Mostly the whole crotch region.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO
1) I can't stand stupidity for stupidity's sake
2) I can't quit smoking, apparently.
3) I still can't get enough of dat ass, G. Fo real.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES
1) Movies. Dammit, I love movies
2) hot sweaty dirty naked times with my fiancee, because i now hate all other girls, right dear?
3) making fun of EVERYONE in the fuckin' universe
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1) Not go to Connecticut. Not anything against it, but I just don't wanna go to my next command.
2) Do something exciting and unexpected
3) Finish this meme.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
1) Civilian Nuke Operator
2) Staying in the Navy until I'm salty
3) A writer for porno films
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1) Vegas
2) Australia
3) A place where monkeys are street vendors. I wanna buy a t-shirt from a monkey. prolly NYC
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1) Be a hero
2) Have kids
3) Tell my kids I was a hero
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO DO THIS SURVEY NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY
1) Becky
2) Danny, do this one again
3) umm...Some random person who happens to be reading my journal
oh yeah. by the way. i'm engaged now. go me.
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| borrowing the internet |
[31 Aug 2004|04:32am] |
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mood |
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 drunk |
] |
| [ |
music |
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family gay is the funniest thing ever |
] |
i'm over at my buddies house, borrowing a little time on the interweb. i know it's been like forever since i've been on, or answered e-mail (my e-mail no longer exists), or even updated this shit. but, whatever. i just wanna say that i'm alive. and i'm doing okay. read becky's journal if you wanna know what's really going on. i'm just gonna keep working my ass off to finally make something of this whole navy thing.
blah blah blah
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| toes over the edge |
[05 May 2004|11:27pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
] |
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music |
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there is no music to be played at a time like this. |
] |
i haven't slept more than four hours at a time in four days.
school fuckin sucks.
::looks at calendar::
oh, hey. another test tomorrow.
i have five tests until the comprehensive exam.
twenty-nine days until i graduate.
and, tomorrow, i will get enough points on the test to pass power school (assuming i pass the comp).
i'll celebrate later, for celebrating and sleep, are for the weak-minded.
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| Hell Week |
[23 Apr 2004|04:35pm] |
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mood |
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on the precipice |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Transformers the Movie Soundtrack |
] |
:: how jedi are you? ::
hmm...i can't argue with that. well, hell week continues with another electrician's exam on tuesday, wrapping up the worst week of school in the fourth toughest school in the nation. had two exams this week, one of them being the hardest test (more or less) in power school. damn, this stuff is getting complicated. and the real sonovabitch is, i can't even complain about it because...
a. is classified information.
b. this being nuclear power school, it's extremely detailed and nerdy, so to explain anything with any sort of clarity would require a fourty minute dissertation, seven graphs, a flow chart, and a three hour homework assignment.
c. it's really, really nerdy stuff.
d. should i really be complaining about the Navy paying me to go to school full-time?
anyway, it's just tough. not that i'm doing poorly, it's just been a hell of a week.
in other news, for those of you who didn't know, i broke my ring finger and had it in a cast for three weeks. well, the cast came off on monday, and holy crap, it was disgusting. all the skin off of my ring finger peeled off in one big sheet when they got the thing off of me. that was gross enough. not to mention the fact that my arm hadn't been washed in three weeks. probably the grossest thing that has ever happened to my body directly.
lemme see, lemme see...becky was here a few weekends ago. man-oh-man, she's hot. and wasn't even the fact that we had our own hotel room or anything that made it so great...it was just being around her that made it great. she always wants to look nice and hot and cute and all that when she's around me. that's flattering. and i usually try pretty hard too. and there is always something i'm doing that makes her laugh or smile or be all cutesy...it's worth it to try and make her happy, even if she is totally unhappy right now, i love to make her forget about it, even if it's only for a weekend or for a few minutes on the phone.
yes, kind citizen, i am graduating power school on june 4th. yes, i am the senior power school class, the baddest ass mofos to walk on base. and yes, i know, i will have leave thereafter. well, let it be noted now, i'll be spending all of my leave attached to becky's hip, but there will be an extended, 17-day ben matthews world tour. planned tour dates are my sister's house, walt disney world (pending the mouse's approval), and a tour of clubs and houses in the baltimore area. be sure to look for our tour bus in your town. just use our catch-phrase "oh my god, it's ben matthews, the coolest mutha ever to walk to the earth!" to get a chance to actually participate in a high-five event with ben matthews! (actual high-five event may not include ben matthews or may not even occur due to scheduling differences. refer to ben matthews world tour rider page #459, sub-set 4D for a full list of rules and regulations regarding actual high-five with ben matthews. high-five with ben matthews is sponsored by the committee to re-elect the president, the mayor quimby for mayor mayoral committee, and the foundation to speed up service at the god damned mcdonald's.)
i almost forget to mention it here, but i didn't post it here or anything, but we did win the bowman's cup football tournament. let us give our thanks to QB matt "the irishman" mitchelson, WR rod "short and quick just like your mom" cannizarro, WR greg "i'm like 7-11, always open" swain, LB toothless darrah, LB ryan "first blood" jenkins, late pick-up WR r.c. "come get some" willis, C "i got the ball" andersen, WR johnny "get the hell away from my car" kurzweil, WR matt "i'm gonna have a smoke" albright, K john "step into my office, you're fuckin fired" brayman, and, the crowd favorite, WR "gametime" ben matthews. we should also note the other boys on the squad, mike "i'll play in blue jeans" edwards, "the bear" john peter weed, "mailman" mazyck, kristina "yeah, i caught one" slagle, garrett "have you seen my ball?" kerr, "i don't have a funny nickname" ceresa and "i'm the new guy, just call me hammy" hammett.
yeah, that's enough.
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| sunday afternoon blues |
[04 Apr 2004|03:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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coltrane and chicken nuggets |
] |
it's like four on sunday, and i still have homework to do. not like it's a big deal, it's just a pain to shave and get ready just to go into school and then do homework for a few hours. grr.
in other news, i will get to see my becky in a mere five days. haven't seen her in a bit...i wonder if she'll recognize me. :0)
yeah, i'm too excited to write much of anything.
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| for regan... |
[30 Mar 2004|09:40pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
] |
i took a quiz.
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| counting the lines |
[17 Feb 2004|10:36pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
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ben folds five - twin falls |
] |
hmm...i wonder...
what was i doing last year?
well, exactly one year ago from february 18, becky and i shared our first *real* kiss. ya know, our first one not on-stage with a few hundred of our newest friends watching. but, yeah. one year we've been us. and what a great year.
in fact, february 25 is my one year point in the navy. five to go, for all y'all counting. yup. one year in the service. wow. i think i've learned more in one year than i ever would have otherwise. and i'm only halfway done with my training here at nuke school. still don't know if i'll extend for another few years after my initial EOS (end of obligated service, for you civs). people tell me i should go officer or i would make a good instructor here or this and that...but i think i'll take it a little bit at a time. no big shoes to fill here. i just wanna do my job, serve my country for a few years, and see where i am when i'm 26. sheesh.
you never realize it, but time kinda kicks you in the ass every so often. for instance, i spent this last three day weekend going up to see my becky for valentine's day. ten or so hours to get there. holy moley. past three days went by FAST. but, i have to say it was worth it. sushi and rear window, a bottle of wine and some cheese that is still in my car, looooong hot baths, and i even made pancakes. yeah, i have to admit, it was a damn good few days.
to update, section one football is in full swing. we're currently 2-0, with another game on thursday. injuries and line changes can't keep us down, we're demolishing the competition, as noted during the last game versus section nine, which ended 6-1. when reached for comment, all-star wide reciever 'GAMETIME' MATTHEWS could only comment, "SECTION ONE, WHAT TIME IS IT?!", at which point, the mud-soaked players responded, "GAMETIME." Matthews was unavailable for further comment.
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| quick one... |
[20 Jan 2004|10:15pm] |
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mood |
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 rushed |
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music |
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::click clack clickity clack bang:: - i'm typing fast. |
] |
okay, i'm gonna write for five minutes, then it's off to bed. hope you like typos!
bang, math test tomorrow. math is pretty crazy. ask me about it sometime.
next, haven't had much time for anything lately, even though i just got off a three day week-end. wtf?
next issue! got a box from becky today. she's just just the best. ntothing else to say about it. the little note she stuck in there reminded me why i'm doing what i'm doing. she needs hugs and kisses.
next next issue! 'rents e-mailed. said they're headed down here for power school grad. cool beans. that means beck can tag along. w00t!
damn, two minutes...
umm...not much else to write about...haven't seena good movie in a bit. any suggestions from the crowd? something worht my time and my five fifty, mind you. so, no, danny. i will not see the re-release of akira cin-wong-foo-fett's epic classic, seventy nine crazy ninja fights and two terribly scripted weird sex scenes.
lates.
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| not much to talk about |
[11 Jan 2004|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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discontent |
] |
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music |
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Charles Mingus - Orange was the Color of her Dress |
] |
so, i was just beating around the internet after i finished my homework today, and thanks in part to weebl and bob, i am proud to bring you...
Bush in 30 Seconds.
Cool shit, eh?
ahem.
i mean, i will obey the orders of the president of the united states of america. yeah, that's what i meant.
lates.
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| ahh...the laziness of being on leave |
[23 Dec 2003|02:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 horny |
] |
| [ |
music |
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becky licking my ear |
] |
i'm at becky's house, it's two in the afternoon, and i haven't done a damned thing. even now, as i type this, she's taking this opportunity to distract me. it's very hard to get much of anything out onto the screen, much less anything that would resemble a real thought. so, in the interest of my audience, i would just like to say that i have the best girlfriend EVER.
now, back to what i was doing a minute ago. which was nothing.
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| my late night with penn and teller |
[22 Nov 2003|04:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
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in love with teller |
] |
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music |
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Penn and Teller's Music to Look at Boxes By |
] |
well, stayed up all night and been watching penn and teller's bullshit! episodes. and let me tell you...for a television show that has gotten just about zero press, no waves, no mention in any news media (except for the press just advertising the show), and guess what? they just debunk the hell out of anything and everything that you have based your lives upon (not my life, i'm an enlightened man). bottled water? just as good as tap water. psychics? full of shit. feng shui? it's feng shit. creationism? surprisingly, is not any type of science and doesn't belong in schools. talking to dead? try just talking to the wall. alternative medicine? please, swindlers and hustlers peddling useless crap. so, in summary, if it sounds too good to be true, you'll buy into it. oh, this water is two dollars a bottle, it must be better. by the way, that's WAY more expensive than gasoline, and we all use the cheap stuff, don't we? penis enlarging pills are basically sugar pills that contain crap in them that may even cause penile DYSfunction. the list goes on and on. basically, i have lost what little hope i had left for humanity. we're great and smart and completely fucked up.
in other news, i'm still coming home soon. that is, if someone would return my calls.
so, yeah. i'll see y'all soon.
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| 111103 : T-17 |
[11 Nov 2003|12:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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pretty damn good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Group X - Good Girl Yes, Bad Girl No |
] |
someone i know is getting older.
someone i know has a birthday today.
someone i know loves someone like me, especially when i'll be back in town in just seventeen(ish) days with her birthday presents.
someone i know is kind and understanding that i can't make it to the post office as frequently as i would like to.
someone i know might be becky.
happy birthday, honey.
to all those keeping score, expect the return of the great white hope just a day or two after thanksgiving.
~me
p.s. yeah, i know. i post like every month or whatever. bite me. let's see you stand a 12-24 duty rotation.
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tellerfan's journal